Discipline
Everyone wants to raise good children. Parents expect to have to teach children how to do a lot of things. For example, they may expect to teach them how to ride a bike and how to cross the street safely. Parents also need to teach their children how they want them to behave. Parents need to set limits to teach children what they need to know to get along in the world.
Parents need to understand their child's development and what they can expect from the child at each age. Sometimes discipline is used inappropriately as a response to a child's normal developmental stage; for example, is it the “terrible twos” or normal exploratory play? Discipline that uses corporol punishment can not only lead to more serious child abuse, but is also found to be ineffective in teaching children "good behavior"
When misbehavior occurs, try some of these techniques instead of corporal punishment:
- Set up the home environment so that the child can succeed. For example, remove all breakable objects from children's reach, install safety gates and make developmentally appropriate toys available.
- Use distraction. For example, if a toddler is reaching for every item at the grocery store check out, redirect his attention by offering a small toy brought from home.
- Use "natural" and "logical" consequences; the punishment should fit the crime. For example, if a child writes on the walls in crayon the appropriate punishment might be to have him help to clean up his mess.
- Make sure the child knows what he did wrong, understands what the correct behavior should be, and has a chance to try again relatively soon (in child time) to succee.
Positive reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is one of the most effective methods of teaching children “the rules of getting along” and for raising “good” children. We all appreciate hearing what we did well. A good general rule is to provide about four or five times as much positive reinforcement as negative reinforcement (such as “don't do this” and “stop it”). While it may seem easier to respond to behavior in negative ways, positive reinforcement is much more effective in the long run, since children want to receive praise and please adults. Also, like adults, children tend to tune out when they hear too many “don'ts."
Time outs
Using “time outs” or removing children from activities they are enjoying can also be effective discipline for children over age two. Time outs are more effective at changing behavior than corporal punishment (such as spanking or hitting). A good general rule is one minute of time out per year of age. It is easy for corporal punishment to escalate leading to serious injury.
Resources
A child's pediatrician can be an excellent resource for further information about discipline.